I’m in a rut and that’s ok.

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Without the structure of school and countless changes in schedule due to work, trips, and plans, I feel myself falling behind mentally and emotionally a little bit. A few years ago when I felt this way, I would let it consume me. I used to always feel like over the summer I should be happier or I should feel more at ease. I put all this pressure on myself to feel happy, but I didn’t realize until this summer that when those thoughts arise it leaves no room for mental health to creep in and no room for the flexibility of actually feeling the emotions that come up, instead of just pushing them out.

My anxiety, depression, and body image/disordered eating thoughts come up when I have a lot of time on my hands and when I put unrealistic standards on myself for how I should feel. When I recognize my thoughts including a lot of “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” I tell myself: Don’t should on yourself.

 I should be happy its summer, I don’t even have school to worry about!
Don’t should on yourself.
I shouldn’t be feeling anxious on my day off.
Don’t should on yourself.
I shouldn’t be in a rut, my life is great.
Don’t should on yourself.

Putting harsh standards on myself and pushing out any flexibility for mental health isn’t helpful – its only damaging. So here I am; I’m in a rut. It’s summer and my life is genuinely amazing and I am so happy to have time to spend with loved ones and travel, and I’m in a rut. And that is ok.


anxiety depression feeling mental health mental illness rut self love summer summer body

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